Summer Movie Preview: August
August is a time for eating all the ice cream and going to all the beaches we didn't go to in July. Here's to the last truly sunny month until next May. But when it's raining, go to the movies! Here are our predictions for August.
Guardians of the Galaxy
As someone who is unfamiliar with the comic book source material, the cast of characters in Guardians of the Galaxy looks like the wet dream of a creatively bankrupt group of executives that have been trapped in a focus group for 1,000 years: "So we've decided: one guy is a talking tree dude, one's a wily raccoon guy, and, um we'll throw in a sexy green alien lady too." That said, the source material is well-regarded and the early reviews are very positive. I'm a fan of both James Gunn and Chriss Pratt, so i'm hoping for the best.
While this may be the height of Vin Diesel’s career, Chris Pratt can do better. Much better. Even in movies I didn’t particularly enjoy (Her, The Five-Year Engagement), Pratt shone; in movies and shows that I love but even I admit aren’t necessarily cinematic masterpieces (Bride Wars, The O.C.), he was even better. Guardians of the Galaxy seems like a fun movie with some laughs, but Pratt’s acting ability is most probably wasted. And I really, really don’t think we need another comic book movie.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The sticking power of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is incredible, but I don't really understand why. What separates it from Biker Mice from Mars and all of the other cynical animated combinations of animals and occupations that will appeal to nine-year olds that were wisely left in the 80's where they belong? If I have to give my best guess for which movie will win "most soulless film" of the year, this Michael Bay disaster is the easy front-runner.
See my above prediction for Chris Pratt, and take the reverse opposite re: Megan Fox. Hold onto these roles, girl, they’re the only ones you’re gonna get.
The Giver is hands down my favorite book from my childhood. It was the first book that made me realize that fiction can do more than teach you lessons about sharing with your sister and that you should always be yourself. The Giver was the rare kid's book that made kids feel like adults. The movie will have an impossible expectation to live up to, but the story is so great that I look forward to seeing it anyway.
I am embarrassed to say that I haven’t read The Giver, but I’ve heard enough good things about it to think that this movie will do well. After watching the trailer, I have realized that Taylor Swift is in the movie so I need to listen to some Taylor songs as I write this (I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22…er…25). And, secondly, Meryl Streep is also in the movie, so here’s hoping for Oscar.
Life After Beth
I'm sick of zombies. I was sick of them 5 years ago. Hollywood has milked more out of zombies than George Washington Carver could have ever hoped to do with peanuts. This isn't even the first zombie romantic comedy to come out. How is that possible?
This movie is either going to be great or incredibly dumb. At first I thought the former, but now I’m thinking it has an interesting premise that’s ruined by zombie speak.
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
The first Sin City was visually incredible with cool but empty storytelling. The sequel looks like it will be doubling down on both of those elements of the first film. With the terrific cast, the story only needs to be half-way decent to make it at least worth a watch.
Let’s be pretentious and watch a black and white movie that makes no sense unless you already know the story. It’ll feel like we’re watching it for 500 days this summer.