The Great American Oscar Draft: Truth is in the Totals
The time has come; the moment of truth. The Star Trek cereal box pen is in our grasps. The Oscars were notable this year for a variety of reasons—Ellen’s selfie, Jared Leto’s hair, pizza. Our Oscar draft comes to a close with, surprisingly, a three-way tie; but before we reveal the thrice winners, let’s take a look at who grabbed the most wins from our pool.
Bob took the lead with 8 wins, mostly because he picked Gravity. Emily A. was a close second, scoring 7 wins thanks to her clutch pick of 12 Years a Slave. Allie tried to redeem herself from her horrible nomination pool and got 3 wins. Surprisingly, Danny, who topped our nomination list, only got 2 wins on Oscar night. And Colin and Emily M. both walked away with nothing, just like Leo.
But the true reveal is in the totals. We calculated the total amount of nominations (1 point each) plus the total amount of wins (4 points each) that each movie obtained. Bob took the lead with 51 points. Emily A. followed closely with 48 and Danny took bronze with 33. Allie’s total was 18, Emily M.’s 13, and Colin’s 7, but they don’t matter because they are losers, and at the Oscars, it’s not about how you play the game, it’s about whether or not you win. (Or get nominated.) (Guess that line didn’t really work. We need some Oscar speech-writing editors here.) (Just kidding, Allie, Emily M., and Colin are still great.)
ALLIE’S TAKE ON THE OSCARS:
Although this year’s Oscars show was significantly and noticeably void of Ben Affleck onstage, there were some redeeming things about it. Ellen DeGeneres is a great host, especially with the Anne Hathaway/James Franco debacle still in recent memory. Although Jennifer Lawrence is milking her awkwardness a bit too much for my taste (and others I was watching the Oscars with noted, and I agree, that she probably fell this time on purpose), the stars from this year’s Oscars didn’t do anything too outlandish. Except maybe Kelly Osborne, who keeps thinking it’s a good idea to host an Oscars fashion show critiquing others whilst donning a head of light purple hair.
As I mentioned before, my favorite part of the Oscars is the red carpet, and this year Olivia Wilde takes the cake in my book for her classic style. Kelly Osburne fails and Kristin C from Laguna Beach (yes, I recognized her before they said her name) should not be critiquing other people (on the inside or out). Also, E!’s “mani-cam” is just awkward. What if someone forgot to wax their knuckle hair that morning? We don’t need close-ups of that.
The Oscars themselves were made by Ellen, who hosted with charisma and happiness. She doesn’t seem to take them too seriously, which is refreshing. I found it surprising that American Hustle got significantly snubbed (although personally I didn’t like it), and not surprising that Leo did, too (if he was going to win, he should’ve won for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Or Titanic.). I found it nice that the real-life Captain Phillips and Philomena were in the audience (even though they obviously got the worst seats in the balcony). I found it awesome that Jared Leto thanked his mom. I think, too often during awards shows, people overly thank their coworkers and forget about the people who are there when they come home from a day in the “office” and hug them and make them tea.
And, although I still don’t understand how the show always runs half an hour late (gosh, just increase the time slot or something), I do appreciate how I can eat junk food while watching the stars starve in their dresses for five hours straight.
See below for the total lists:
-Music (Original Score)
-Actress in a Leading Role
TOTAL WINS FOR BOB: 8
12 Years a Slave
-Actress in a Supporting Role
-Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
The Great Gatsby
-Animated Feature Film
-Music (Original Song)
TOTAL WINS FOR EMILY A.: 7
Dallas Buyer’s Club
-Actor in a Leading Role
-Actor in a Supporting Role
-Makeup and Hairstyling
TOTAL WINS FOR ALLIE: 3
-Writing (Original Screenplay)
20 Feet From Stardom
TOTAL WINS FOR DANNY: 2
TOTAL WINS FOR EMILY M.: 0
TOTAL WINS FOR COLIN: 0
And now for the final scores:
TOTAL NOMINATIONS FOR BOB: 19 (19 points)
TOTAL WINS FOR BOB: 8 (32 points)
TOTAL OVERALL FOR BOB: 51
TOTAL NOMINATIONS FOR EMILY A.: 20 (20 points)
TOTAL WINS FOR EMILY A.: 7 (28 points)
TOTAL OVERALL FOR EMILY A.: 48
TOTAL NOMINATIONS FOR DANNY: 25 (25 points)
TOTAL WINS FOR DANNY: 2 (8 points)
TOTAL OVERALL FOR DANNY: 33
TOTAL NOMINATIONS FOR ALLIE: 6 (6 points)
TOTAL WINS FOR ALLIE: 3 (12 points)
TOTAL OVERALL FOR ALLIE: 18
TOTAL NOMINATIONS FOR EMILY M.: 13 (13 points)
TOTAL WINS FOR EMILY M.: 0 (0 points)
TOTAL OVERALL FOR EMILY M.: 13
TOTAL NOMINATIONS FOR COLIN: 7 (7 points)
TOTAL WINS FOR COLIN: 0 (0 points)
TOTAL OVERALL FOR COLIN: 7